Ugh, really...and you trust EVERYTHING people tell you????

A friend and I have been emailing and she's going to electively schedule her c-section because her doctor says the baby will be big...yeah and the doctor can tell you what color hair he will have too! They don't know...they are usually estimating based on fluid (which is hard to measure because the baby moves) and bone length (which doesn't indicate density or weight). They told me 7lbs and he was over 8, they told another friend 8 and she was 6, and so on...


Why would you opt for a dangerous and very serious surgery to avoid something that 'might be', epsecially when your body knows what it's doing...you won't carry a baby you can't deliver! (getting stuck due to position is a whole other issue) Women have been having babies as long as there have been women, it's a natural process, just trust your body!!! For heaven's sake...my MIL gave birth to 3 boys: 8lbs 15oz, 9lbs 8oz, and my hubby- 11lbs 3oz.

The c-section rate in this country is high...it was 31.8% in 2007, that's a 48% jump since 1996!!! I'm not against CS...in many cases thet y are needed to save the baby, the mother, or both from real danger...REAL is the keyword here.

When I went into labor and was admitted to the hospital the first thing out of the Dr.'s mouth was "Well, we'll try to do this the conventional way"...My BP was a bit high and the baby's heartrate was erratic...OF COURSE IT WAS...I WAS IN LABOR!!! Active labor, 8.5cm dilated, 100% effaced labor!!! It was my first pregnancy and I was scared and in pain...did they think I was going to be calm?!? Birth is stressful on both a mother and a baby, it's suposed to be, you're pushing another human being out of your body!

I was upset with the doctor for doubting me and rushing to conclusions before giving me the chance to try and deliver my baby the way nature intended. Luckily my hubby was on my side and told the doctor how we felt and what we wanted. He's usually very passive, so glad he found his pair that day!

I know a lot of people who had c-sections because they had no choice. My BFF had to have a c-section due to medical complications, but she was hessitant about it. It's major surgery and there are endless complications. She would have avoided it if she could have.

If childbirth were meant to be easy, it wouldn't be called LABOR.

Sorry, just needed to vent.

11 weeks later

note: i'm tired, so this whole post will be in lower case letters as i don't feel like making sure my capitalization is correct.

it's been 11 weeks since i first felt those beginning contractions. 11 weeks already!
lots has happened since my last post.
dillan's gotten bigger, of course. at his 2 month checkup he was 11lbs, 13oz and 24.5in long! he's out grown almost all his 0-3 mos pj's because he's so long. it's frustrating because he's so little in the torso all his 3-6 mos pj's are very room in the middle.


one of his favorite things to do is to nap with daddy, and they both excel at it!


he's getting stronger and it seems like everyday he's learned something new. he holds his head up on his own and when on his tummy can lift his upper body. he likes to sit in his bumbo and look around at the world. he's finally big enough for the carrier i have and likes it so much he fell right to sleep when i went to webers! he's babbling all the time now. it's the funniest thing, he puts his fists in what i call the "put 'em up" position and furrows his little brow as he desperately tries to tell you what on his mind. he's so determined to communicate!


he's been eating more, sometimes as much as 7oz from a bottle! he's sleeping about 6-7 hours at night w/o waking up for a snack, though he sometimes wakes for a cuddle. i wish i knew what he was thinking when he smiles his sly grin in his sleep.


at the end of aug my mom took a half day of work and we all went to the state fair. i have been going every year since i was a kid and want to started the tradition with dillan. it was a beautiful summer day and i think he really enjoyed being outside. it was a great way to spend the end of my maternity leave.


a few weeks ago we went to frederick for a friend's wedding. the drive was long and the weather cold and rainy but we had a great time. dillan was great for the majority of the day and when he was fussy i couldn't blame him. the ceremony was outside and he got cranky near the end, mostly due to hunger and boredom from being all covered up in this stroller. our friends have a son who's just about 4 weeks older than dil and it was great to see them with their little guy.
since we only get dressed up about once a year, i wanted a family picture.


it's fall, which means football season! my little man enjoys watching the ravens with his mamma...even if they don't win, at least he looks the part!


now it's time to get ready for halloween. since it's mike and my's anniversary, 9 years this year, we are big on halloween fun. i did get him a costume, but what's halloween w/o a few themed outfits?!?


Trying on his costume for mom and dad...



his cousins c & e gave him a super cute clown fish outfit, but it's way too big for his this year. i will get some pictures of him in it in his room since he'll fit right into the scenery!

i've been doing lots in the nursery. his room is about 80% done! all the furniture is together and his stuff is all put away. we still have some finishing work to do on the floor moldings and door. the only area that really needs work though is the 'sitting shelf' that mike built to cover the heating duct. i've painted and installed the new floor, put up his curtains and blinds, set up his crib, and am working on painting his mini-mural.
i'll save the details and pictures for another post...i'm off to bed!

4 weeks!

Dillan is 4 weeks old today! He's growing so fast. At his 2 week check-up he had already surpassed his birth weight and was 8lbs 15oz and grew 2 inches, bringing him to 22 1/4 inches! I'm sure that now he's well past 9 lbs and by the look of his ill-fitting footed pj's, he's a bit taller too!
He's also developing skills that all the charts say he should be able to do for several weeks. He holds his head up and steadies it for more than 30 sec. He can easily turn his head from side to side while holding it up. He pushes with his legs and likes to support his own body when you let him. And the kicker...yesterday he rolled from his back to his side to get into a more comfortable sleeping position. Mike also swears that he "crawled" up him, while laying flat, using the commando style of right arm, left leg, left arm, right leg. I can't wait for him to grow up a bit so he's more interactive, but at the same time I don't want him to grow up too fast.
Here's some pictures of the little guy.

First bath! He liked the water...didn't like getting out where it was cold!


8.19- After his 2 week checkup. He loves his giraffe!


Chilling in his mini swing in the Buddha position.


Play time on the island of fun! He grabbed the monkey and held on tight!


His island of fun mat.


Look mom...I can hold my head up all on my own!

He saw them today

Dillan loves to relax in his fish swing, and today for the first time he was able to focus on the fish mobile and watch them go round and round!

1 week, 1 day

I can't believe my baby boy is a week old already! It seems like just yesterday I was still pregnant and waiting for a sign that things would be changing. Boy did they change!!!
Dillan is such a great baby! He's been feeding and sleeping like a champ. He even lets mommy and daddy sleep about 6 hours in a row in the morning. I got in another 2 hours of sleep this afternoon. I think I'm getting the hang of this mommy thing. And Mike...well he's stepped right into the role of doting dad. He's attentive to what I need, and super great with Dillan. He's been doing the changes in the middle of the night since he knows I have to get up to feed. He went grocery shopping and made dinner all week as well as kept Dillan entertained when mommy needed to rest. I wish he didn't have to go back to work this week. It's been great having him around to bond as a family.
Tika has also taken a liking to the little guy. She's become protective of him and is distressed when he's upset. She always wants to be near whoever is holding him. I can tell that she and Dillan are going to be best buddies as he grows up.
Since we're all still in the adjustment phase and I'm still recovering from what I now know was some pretty bad tearing during labor, we have been doing visitations in small, short bursts. Grandpop Bill came for a visit last week as did Uncle J.J. and Auntie Lala. And we went to Mom-mom & Pop-pop Mettee's over the weekend and also got to meet Aunt Laura, Uncle Drew and cousin's Evan and Cameron. This week we'll hopefully get to meet Great-grandma Grace and the Smith clan.
Last week we also had his first pediatrician visit. He's perfectly healthy in every way! We go back in 2 weeks for his first of 3 Hep B shots. =( Mommy's not looking forward to that visit.

Well I guess that's all for now as I am sleepy and want to try and catch some zzz's before the 2am feeding.

He's finally here! Dillan's birth story...

That's right! Dillan Oliver Mettee has finally made his grand entrance into the world.

Saturday morning (8.1.09) I woke up around 4:30 with a small contraction, nothing new by now. I realized I was really hungry but didn't feel like hobbling downstairs for breakfast. I say hobbling because I threw out my hip a few days earlier while working on the bathroom. Anyway, I laid awake in bad and realized I had another contraction. I figured, what the heck, I'll start timing them again. They were about 35sec each but about 12-18min apart. Again, nothing new. I thought they would stop like usual so I got up and moved around a bit. After about 40 min I was sitting in bed and Mike woke up. I told him that I think this is it. My contractions seems to be getting stronger and more regular. By 6am I was contracting every 8-10 min and they were getting much stronger. He made me a bagel so I could have something in my stomach, but I couldn't eat but a few bites. By 8am I was contracting just about every 5 min. Mike was being a great coach and telling me to breathe, rubbing my back, and putting up with my intense mood swings. I went from "this isn't too bad" to "I changed my mind, I don't want to have a baby" to "DON'T F-ING TOUCH ME" to "omg, I can't do this"...and he stayed right there to make sure I was ok. I convinced him that this was going to happen soon and he needed to call the hospital. He called a little after 8 and told them my progress. They said to wait until I had at least 4 contractions 5min apart before we go in. The doctor that I was hoping not to have was on duty, but got off at 9. I labored more upstairs between the bathroom and my glider. It's funny, but the positions that I learned in birthing class and the breathing techniques actually came in handy since I remembered them. By 9 I couldn't take it anymore and said we needed to go...NOW. That was the longest, worse car ride of my life!!! Every bump felt awful.
We pulled up to the hospital and the garage entrance we always we was closed! I thought we were at the main entrance, but we weren't. Luckily enough a guard got us a wheelchair and let Mike leave his car on the front sidewalk to take me upstairs. It seems to take forever for him to get me checked in. The nurse said that I would have to stay in triage for a it because all the beds were full. Full!?!?! WTF, I had heard of this happening to other mom's on my July Birth Board, but didn't even worry about it since every time we'd ever been to the hospital they were practically empty up there. The woman in registration actually came out with a form and expected me to be able to sign it! HA...I think I scribbled something, but there's no way it would hold up in court...lol.
I was moved to triage, got the last bed in the place, and could only manage to get my pants off and onto the stretcher before I was overwhelmed with the contractions. A midwife came in and checked me...8cm, 100%, 0 station...he would be coming soon. This was about 9:45am.
The doctor I had hoped not to get (my OBGYN has 4 doctors in her practice) was paged back to the hospital because so many women came in to L&D in labor. I was GBS+ and was told I would need an IV of Clindamycin before he was born. A tech put my hep lock in my hand, but that's about all she could do since my contractions were so fast. The nurse was worried about the baby's heart rate and put me on oxygen. The Dr. came in and wanted to do an internal contraction monitor and an internal sensor on the baby's head. We hesitated on the sensor...we learned about those and didn't want to do it if we didn't have to. She let us go with just the monitor but had me hooked up to saline. It wasn't long before I told the nurse I needed to push. This was about 10:30am. The Dr. came back and checked...I was ready! I started pushing but wasn't doing to well. I had to be on my back and was extremely uncomfortable. Mind you...I was still on a triage stretcher...not in a delivery room! My hep lock began to leak fluids all over the place and they had to take it out and do a regular IV on my arm. Ugh...another needle! Once they got me hooked up to fluids the baby was doing better. Mike was sure he heard mention of c-section or vacuum...I was having none of that! This kid was coming out the old-fashioned way.
I started pushing again and Mike was right by my side coaching me on breathing and really bearing down. The Dr. was between me and another lady who was also in pushing mode. She ended up staying with me since his head was close to crowning. I began to block out everyone but Mike and started to push with everything I had. Once they could see his head, it only took 2 more good pushes and he was out. 11:51am. He wasn't very blue or slimy. He was perfect. He wasn't crying though. Mike got to cut the cord and I could see how proud he was to do it. The NICU had been called to asses Dillan since there was no time for me to get the antibiotics when I came. They said he was fine and cleaned him up. He was crying by this time and (Mike told me this later) my first words to him were "now what do we do?"! Lol. Our son weighed 8lbs 4oz and was 20.5 inches long. The amazing thing was that his head was 34cm in circumference!!

They gave him to Mike and he held him while the I was hooked up to Pitocin to help stop bleeding and while I delivered the placenta. I had some tearing that needed to be stitched (OMG did that hurt!!) then I was able to hold my son for the first time. After I was cleaned up the best they could (I was STILL in triage) my mom came in. Dillan took to breastfeeding right away and then napped on my chest for a bit. Mike had to go move his car to the garage so my mom stayed with me in the room. I still can't believe I did it...and with NO drugs!!!!!

I was stuck in that room until around 5:30 when I could be moved down to the Mother/ Baby Unit. They were also apparently very full. Once I got settled into my room and had something to eat I felt much better. Very sore, but better. Mike ran home to check on the dog and get his overnight bag. He came back around 9:30 and stayed with me until we were discharged on Monday.

It was a rough second day, but now we're home and everyone is doing great.
Dillan sleeps for about 5-6 hours at night (well, early-mid morning) and eats like a ravenous little monster. He's perfect in every way!

More pix...

While we waited for my wheelchair on Monday, we took some "self pictures". Mike was trying to concentrate on lining up the camera and getting the shot, but kept forgetting to smile!
We figured it out and have a great couple of family photos.

Napping after a good meal.

Swaddled up and ready for bed.

More progress on the house...but none on Dillan.

Got the urge to be uber productive today. I primed the bathroom walls, painted the ceiling, then painted the bathroom!! It took all day but it's gorgeous!

Nursery update.

The drywall is in and 1st coat of spackle is done. It's starting to look like a room now!
All that's really left to construct is the wall for the pocket door. It would have been nice if all the parts had come in the box and we didn't have to wait for the company to send us the missing pieces. Other than that things are coming along nicely.
Here's a few pictures and a description of what will be there very soon.

Where the lamp is will be the door into the room. The grey shelf is covering the a/c ducting and will be where Dillan's bookshelf is going to go.

Here's a better shot of the "reading corner". His bookshelf will sit on the right side of this raised platform. Mike did a great job at framing in all the metal ducting from the a/c return install.


Here's the little attic space and mini door. One day maybe Dillan will use it as his secret playroom.

New flooring and walls around the windows. I can't wait to get the new blinds and window coverings up!


And...here's a video 360 of the room as of my due date...July 27, 2009

40 weeks, 3 days, and no sign of baby...

Well, my due date has come and there's no sign that Dillan is ready to come out yet. At my 39 week appt my doctor was confident that I would deliver before my 40 week appt. I spent last week cleaning, walking as much as possible and napping whenever I could. I'm getting bored being home and not being able to really do anything.
I have been off work on short term dis. since 7/13. My pregnancy weight gain and swelling has caused a lot of pain in the foot I injured back in Sept. My podiatrist has limited the amount of walking/ stair climbing I am allowed to do and put me @ home until the baby comes.
On the plus side, I've been spending a lot of time in the pool! I can stretch and walk around w/o the weight of the baby causing me pain in my foot or back. Getting out is tricky since gravity is cruel, lol.
At my appointment this morning I am still only 3-4 cm dilated, 80% effaced. I go on Thursday to Marcy for a biophysical profile (BPP). I'll be there for a few hours while they will do an ultrasound to look at the baby's overall movements, breathing movements, and muscle tone (whether he opens and closes his hand or extends and then flexes his limbs), as well as the amount of amniotic fluid that surrounds him (important because it's a reflection of how well the placenta is supporting him). I'll also get a nonstress test to assess whether his heart rate changes when he's moving. For this, I have to lie on my left side with two devices strapped to my belly: One monitors Dillan's heartbeat and movement; the other records contractions. A tech will listen to and watch the baby's heartbeat on a screen.
Since he moves around so much and has had a consistantely strong heartbeat, my Dr. is confident that he'll pass w/ flying colors. It's just one of those "standard procedures" required by the hospital since I am past my due date. If I don't deliver by Monday, I have to go back to Marcy for another BPP, then to my doctor to discuss options and next steps.
Please keep your fingers crossed that I don't need ANY of these appts. because he'll come on his own soon!

I am removing my blog.

Good bye

7/27:
On second thought, I am not removing my blog. I spent many late nights writing my innermost thoughts and feelings here and if some people don't like it...don't read it.
I have been brutally honest in my postings about how I am feeling at any given moment in time. This is my therapy. I do not scream, or throw things, or hit walls/ people, or let my feelings simmer inside until they explode at an inappropriate time. I do not hold grudges or have resentment towards people. I vent with my words, I get over it, and I'm done. That's how I work...and it's healthy for me. Hell, a lot more people would be mentally stable if they did the same thing. It's good to get your true, unabridged feelings out. Then you can examine them, decided what's important and move on with life.
I refuse to stand still emotionally and live with regret.

Already?!?!?!?!

39 weeks!

Walls...beautiful walls!!

BIG weekend around our house! Friday was my last official day in the office. I will be working a few hours a week from home, but it's limited by current policies. Oh well, at least it's something.
Friday night Mike and I went to BJ's to get some much needed pet and baby stuff. We had a bunch of coupons there were about to expire and we're all abut saving the $$. We did surprisingly well and spent less than my budgeted $150. For what we bought it was an amazing deal.
Saturday started out slow, but Mike really surprised me. He spent a good part of the day working on 2 pieces of drywall. This was frustrating since I know how easily and quickly most drywall projects are. By the end of the day though, there was quite a bit of progress made.
Sunday was awesome! I am so happy at how things are coming together. MY HUBBY IS AWESOME!!!!
Words can't describe it so here's the pix...

Mike working hard!

Framing for new wall.

Office side of wall.

nursery side

new pocket door frame

"harry potter" room

ductwork framing

walls are almost done